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THIRTEEN TONS OF ICE CREAM (Shel Silverstein) A ninety mile run In the Florida sun Can be a sticky situation With thirteen tons of ice cream bars And no refrigeration. Well, I was loaded and locked At the Tampa docks. Miami was my destination. With some coffee and an upper I'll be home in time for supper According to my calculation. But those ice cream bars In my 'frigeration car Were too great a temptation. So I pulled on over to the side of the road And had me an ice cream celebration . Then just outside of the Everglades I got a strange sensation . What was drippin' down my nose Soakin' my clothes Weren't no perspiration ? 'Cuz I must've forgot And left the hatch unlocked. Now I came to the realization I got thirteen tons of ice cream bars And no refrigeration . 'Cuz a ninety-mile run in the Florida sun Can be a sticky situation With thirteen tons of ice cream bars And no refrigeration . There was pralines and cream droppin' into my lap, And that's a source of irritation. And that Chunky-Monkey fillin' up the cab. That can disturb a fellah's concentration. That Cherry Jubilee Right up to my knees Can make a truckin' man's ruination With thirteen tons of ice cream bars And no refrigeration. When I pull into Tampa you can damn well bet There'll be a big investigation, And under cross examination, I'll deny all of the allegations. Then me and the boss we're gonna have One of them real short conversations. Then he's gonna be advisin' me To find a brand new occupation. A ninety-mile run in the Florida sun Can be a sticky situation With thirteen tons of ice cream bars And no refrigeration . Well, I'm gonna tell him where he can STICK His whole screwed-up organization Then I'm gonna head right on down to the Union Hall And apply for arbitration. Then get me some fancy legal representation And sue the whole God damn truckin' corporation And win a BIG cash compensation And then take a seven-month vacation At some tropical location With some uh... female stimulation And do a little copulation Out in the vegetation And get a little inebriation goin' Ohhh . . what a sweet sensation! Lemme see now . . what flavor should I have . . . Hmm-Hmmm . . . they're all running together I believe this is a whole new kinda ice cream Heee-hee-heee.. . . . .

    





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