SIDEBOARD SONG, THE
(Chas Hodges / Dave Peacock)
Chas & Dave - 1979
Mother phoned up last night, she was goin' spare
She was in a temper pulling out her hair
"You're sister's courtin' a scruffy looking gent
Father don't give a monkeys and this is what he said"
I don't care, I don't care
I don't care if he comes round here
I got my beer in the sideboard here
Let Mother sort it out if he comes round here
I said to me mother, "Let me 'ave a talk to Dad"
So he comes to the telephone, he wasn't half mad
Said, "She's got no sense, silly little cow
And if he comes round here there's gonna be a row"
I don't care, I don't care
I don't care if he comes round here
I got my beer in the sideboard here
Let Mother sort it out if he comes round here
"I'll tell ya something else an' all, he's never got a job
He hangs around the betting shop, the lazy little yob
Mother says, "Calm down now, Dad, he's alright,"
But they're out there snogging in the passage all night"
I don't care, I don't care
I don't care if he comes round here
I got my beer in the sideboard here
Let Mother sort it out if he comes round here
If he comes round here, I've got my beer, let Mother sort it out
In the sideboard here, got my beer, let Mother sort it out
I don't care if he comes round here
"You'd think he was a tramp with the stubble on his chin
He looks like something that the cat brought in
Never got no money, smokes all my fags
Got holes in his soles and he's hanging in rags"
"On top of that he said to tell ya why I got the 'ump
She had a skinny little belly, now its sticking out the front
Nothing seems to fit her and she's running out of clothes
If he keeps on taking liberties, I'll punch him on the nose"
I don't care, I don't care
I don't care if he comes round here
I got my beer in the sideboard here
Let Mother sort it out if he comes round here
If he comes round here, I've got my beer, let Mother sort it out
In the sideboard here, got my beer, let Mother sort it out
I don't care if he comes round here
(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - January 2013)
