RHUBARB TART SONG
(John Cleese)


John Cleese & The 1948 Show Choir - 1967



I want another slice of rhubarb tart
I want another lovely slice
I'm not disparaging the blueberry pie
But rhubarb tart is oh so very nice

(A rhubarb what?) A rhubarb tart
(A what barb tart?) A rhubarb tart
I want another slice of rhubarb tart

The principles of modern philosophy
Were postulated by Descartes
Discarding everything he wasn't certain of
He said, "I think, therefore I am a rhubarb tart"

(A rhubarb what?) A rhubarb tart
(A René who?) René Descartes
For months he thought he was a rhubarb tart

A rhubarb tart has fascinated all our poets
Especially the Immortal Bard
He made Richard the Third call out at Bosworth Field
"My kingdom for a slice of rhubarb tart"

(Immortal what?) Immortal tart
(A rhubarb what?) A rhubarb bard
As rhymes go that is really pretty ba-ad

Since Wassily Kandinsky and Paul Klee
Laid down the axioms of abstract art
Even Jackson Pollock and Piet Mondrian
Prefer to paint a slice of rhubarb tart

(A Wassi who?) A Wassi-ly
(A Kandin who?) A Kandin-sky
And how did he get in there for a start

Read all the existentialist philosophers
Like Schopenhauer and Jean-Paul Sartre
Even Martin Heidegger agrees on one thing
Eternal happiness is rhubarb tart

(A rhubarb what?) A rhubarb tart
(Jean-Paul who?) Jean Paul Sartre
That sounds just like a rhyme from Lionel Bart

And so remember, whether you're a beekeeper
Accountant, tree surgeon or informant
Our advice to you is always go to work
On a slice of rhubarb tart



(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - February 2017)