'OOTER SONG, THE
(Vandyke)


Sid James - 1961



I was givin' me plates of meat an airin'
When I 'eard an 'ullabaloo like swearin'
I'd just started to investigate
When a bobby blue said, "Just a minute, you
Who do you think you're swearin' at, mate?"

"Me?", he said, "Swearin'!"
I said, "Liar", he said, "You're darin'"
I said, "It's a fight", he said, "Right!"
Then I got punched right up me 'ooter

I was waitin' to catch a train last Sunday
Looked like 'angin' around the place till Monday
Felt like seein' if the train was late
Jumped down on the line, the train come in on time
The engine driver wore a look of 'ate

I shouted, "Help, I've broke me back"
He shouted, "Oi! Get off the track"
I said, "Why, you comin' back?"
Then I got punched right up me 'ooter

'N it 'urts, ooh it 'urts, it's murder, I'm not kiddin'

I've been watchin' a little man recordin'
'E's been wavin' his little stick all mornin'
'E don't seem to like the look of me
Talk about a choff, "Oi! Rimsky-Korsakov
Don't be such a flamin' misery"

'E's goin' spare, I wonder why
'E wouldn't dare, 'e's gonna try
'E got a cosh, ere, ere, 'ey watch it, Tosh
(What a diabolical voice!)
Then I got punched, yes, I got crunched
Ohh, I got punched right up me 'ooter

And that can be very, very nasty, a boppin' an' nut crunchers
Well, walkin' about without yer potato mashers
People laugh at yer, don't they!



(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - May 2019)