NEVER BITE A MARRIED WOMAN ON THE THIGH
(Shel Silverstein)


Shel Silverstein - 1962



Never bite a married woman on the thigh, oh my, not on the thigh
'Cause she just can't wash it off no matter how she tries, oh my, she'll try
And when she gets home at night, her man will ask her
"Why is there a toothmark on your thigh?"

Then she'll say it's just a birthmark or some other silly lie, oh my, she'll try
But he'll get suspicious and then he will start to pry, oh my, isn't he sly
Then she'll get hysterical and she will start to cry, oh my, she'll cry
Then he'll say, "I don't blame you, but tell me who's the guy", that guy was I

Then she'll admit to everything and he will say goodbye, bye-bye, he'll fly
Then he'll come and find you and he'll punch you right in the eye, oh my, right in the eye
Then he'll rent a cheap hotel room and he'll hang himself with his tie, oh my, his brand new tie
Then she'll take an overdose of sleeping tablets and she's gonna lie on the couch and she'll die

So never, never, never, never, never, never, never bite a married woman on the thigh



(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - March 2019)