Song Lyrics From Around The World

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MY FAIR LADY (Alan Jay Lerner / Frederick Loewe) Audrey Hepburn, Rex Harrison - 1964 Also recorded by: Atherstone Choral Society; Arthur Fiedler; Paul Freeman; Richard Hayman & His Orch.; Erich Kunzel; National Symphony Orch.; Orquesta Sinfonica. WHY CAN'T THE ENGLISH? Rex Harrison - 1956 in English Manolo Fabregas - 1958 in Spanish Harrison: Look at her, a victim of the gutters, Condemned by every syllable she utters. By right she should be taken out and hung, For the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue. (Meow!) Heavens, what a sound! This is what the English population, Calls an elementary education. Bystander: Come sir, I think you've picked a poor example. Harrison: Did I? Hear them down in Soho Square, Dropping "H's" everywhere, Speaking any way they like. You sir, did you go to school? Bystander: Whatta tyke me for, a fool? Harrison: No one taught him "take" instead of "tyke". Hear a Yorkshireman, or worse, Hear a Cornishman converse. I'd rather hear a choir singing flat. Just like this one. (Garn!) I ask you sir, what sort of word is that? It's Au and Garn that keep her in her place Not her wretched clothes and dirty face. Why can't the English teach their children how to speak. This verbal class distinction by now should be antique. If you spoke sir, instead of the way you do, Why you might be selling flowers too. Bystander: I beg your pardon. Harrison: An Englishman's way of speaking absolutely classifies him. The moment he talks he makes some other Englishman despise him. One common language I'm afraid we'll never get. Oh why can't the English learn to set a good example to people who's English is painful to your ears? The Scotch and the Irish leave you close to tears. There are even places where English completely disappears. Well, in America they haven't used it for years. Why can't the English teach their children how to speak? Norwegians learn Norwegian, the Greeks are taught their Greek. In France every Frenchman knows his language from A to Zed. The French don't care what they do, actually, As long as they pronounce properly. Arabians learn Arabian with the speed of summer lightning, And Hebrews learn it backward which is absolutely frighening. If you use proper English you're regarded as a freak. Oh why can't the English, why can't the English learn to speak! (Contributed by cschlereth - January 2006) ***** WOULDN'IT BE LOVERLY? It's rather dull in town, I think I'll take me to Paree. Mmmmmm. The mistress wants to open up The castle in Capri. Me doctor recommends a quiet summer by the sea! Mmmm, Mmmm, wouldn't it be loverly? Eliza All I want is a room somewhere, Far away from the cold night air. With one enormous chair, Aow, wouldn't it be loverly? Lots of choc'lates for me to eat, Lots of coal makin' lots of 'eat. Warm face, warm 'ands, warm feet, Aow, wouldn't it be loverly? Aow, so loverly sittin' abso-bloomin'-lutely still. I would never budge 'till spring Crept over me windowsill. Someone's 'ead restin' on my knee, Warm an' tender as 'e can be. 'ho takes good care of me, Aow, wouldn't it be loverly? Loverly, loverly, loverly, loverly [REPEAT] ***** WITH A LITTLE BIT O'LUCK Alfred The Lord above gave man an arm of iron So he could do his job and never shirk. The Lord gave man an arm of iron-but With a little bit of luck, With a little bit of luck, Someone else'll do the blinkin' work! The three With a little bit...with a little bit... With a little bit of luck you'll never work! Alfred The Lord above made liquor for temptation, To see if man could turn away from sin. The Lord above made liquor for temptation-but With a little bit of luck, With a little bit of luck, When temptation comes you'll give right in! The three With a little bit...with a little bit... With a little bit of luck you'll give right in. Alfred Oh, you can walk the straight and narrow; But with a little bit of luck You'll run amuck! The gentle sex was made for man to marry, To share his nest and see his food is cooked. The gentle sex was made for man to marry-but With a little bit of luck, With a little bit of luck, You can have it all and not get hooked. The three With a little bit...with a little bit... With a little bit of luck you won't get hooked. With a little bit...with a little bit... With a little bit of bloomin' luck! Alfred The Lord above made man to help is neighbor, No matter where, on land, or sea, or foam. The Lord above made man to help his neighbor-but With a little bit of luck, With a little bit of luck, When he comes around you won't be home! Jim and Harry With a little bit...with a little bit... With a little bit of luck, You won't be home. Alfred They're always throwin' goodness at you; But with a little bit of luck A man can duck! Oh, it's a crime for man to go philandrin And fill his wife's poor heart with grief and doubt. Oh, it's a crime for man to go philanderin'-but With a little bit of luck, With a little bit of luck, You can see the bloodhound don't find out! The three With a little bit...with a little bit... With a little bit of luck she won't find out! With a little bit...with a little bit... With a little bit of bloomin' luck! He doesn't have a tuppence in his pocket. The poorest bloke you'll ever hope to meet. He doesn't have a tuppence in his pocket-but With a little bit of luck, With a little bit of luck, He'll be movin' up to easy street. With a little bit...with a little bit... With a little bit of luck, He's movin' up. With a little bit...with a little bit... With a little bit of bloomin luck! ***** I'M AN ORDINARY MAN Well after all, Pickering, I'm an ordinary man, Who desires nothing more than an ordinary chance, to live exactly as he likes, and do precisely what he wants... An average man am I, of no eccentric whim, Who likes to live his life, free of strife, doing whatever he thinks is best, for him, Well... just an ordinary man... BUT, Let a woman in your life and your serenity is through, she'll redecorate your home, from the cellar to the dome, and then go on to the enthralling fun of overhauling you... Let a woman in your life, and you're up against a wall, make a plan and you will find, that she has something else in mind, and so rather than do either you do something else that neither likes at all You want to talk of Keats and Milton, she only wants to talk of love, You go to see a play or ballet, and spend it searching for her glove, Let a woman in your life and you invite eternal strife, Let them buy their wedding bands for those anxious little hands... I'd be equally as willing for a dentist to be drilling than to ever let a woman in my life, I'm a very gentle man, even tempered and good natured who you never hear complain, Who has the milk of human kindness by the quart in every vein, A patient man am I, down to my fingertips, the sort who never could, ever would, let an insulting remark escape his lips Very gentle man... But, Let a woman in your life, and patience hasn't got a chance, she will beg you for advice, your reply will be concise, and she will listen very nicely, and then go out and do exactly what she wants!!! You are a man of grace and polish, who never spoke above a hush, all at once you're using language that would make a sailor blush, Let a woman in your life, and you're plunging in a knife, Let the others of my sex, tie the knot around their necks, I prefer a new edition of the Spanish Inquisition than to ever let a woman in my life I'm a quiet living man, who prefers to spend the evening in the silence of his room, who likes an atmosphere as restful as an undiscovered tomb, A pensive man am I, of philosophical joys, who likes to meditate, contemplate, far for humanities mad inhuman noise, Quiet living man.... But, let a woman in your life, and your sabbatical is through, in a line that never ends comes an army of her friends, come to jabber and to chatter and to tell her what the matter is with YOU!, she'll have a booming boisterous family, who will descend on you en mass, she'll have a large wagnarian mother, with a voice that shatters glass, Let a woman in your life, Let a woman in your life, Let a woman in your life I shall never let a woman in my life. ***** JUST YOU WAIT Just you wait, 'enry 'iggins, just you wait! You'll be sorry, but your tears'll be to late! You'll be broke, and I'll have money; Will I help you? Don't be funny! Just you wait, 'enry 'iggins, just you wait! Just you wait, 'enry 'iggins, till you're sick, And you scream to fetch a doctor double-quick. I'll be off a second later And go straight to the the-ater! Oh ho ho, 'enry 'iggins, just you wait! Ooooooh 'enry 'iggins! Just you wait until we're swimmin' in the sea! Ooooooh 'enry 'iggins! And you get a cramp a little ways from me! When you yell you're going to drown I'll get dressed and go to town! Oh ho ho, 'enry 'iggins! Oh ho ho, 'enry 'iggins! Just you wait! One day I'll be famous! I'll be proper and prim; Go to St. James so often I will call it St. Jim! One evening the king will say: "Oh, Liza, old thing, I want all of England your praises to sing. Next week on the twentieth of May I proclaim Liza Doolittle Day! All the people will celebrate the glory of you And whatever you wish and want I gladly will do." "Thanks a lot, King" says I, in a manner well-bred; But all I want is 'enry 'iggins 'ead!" "Done," says the King with a stroke. "Guard, run and bring in the bloke!" Then they'll march you, 'enry 'iggins to the wall; And the King will tell me: "Liza, sound the call." As they lift their rifles higher, I'll shout: "Ready! Aim! Fire!" Oh ho ho, 'enry 'iggins, Down you'll go, 'enry 'iggins! Just you wait! ***** THE RAIN IN SPAIN Servants Poor Professor Higgins! Poor Professor Higgins! Night and day He slaves away! Oh, poor Professor Higgins! All day long On his feet; Up and down until he's numb; Doesn't rest; Doesn't eat; Doesn't touch a crumb! Poor Professor Higgins! Poor Professor Higgins! On he plods Against all odds; Oh, poor Professor Higgins! Nine p.m. Ten p.m. On through midnight ev'ry night. One a.m. Two a.m. Three...! Quit, Professor Higgins! Quit, Professor Higgins! Hear our plea Or payday we Will quit, Professor Higgins! Ay not I, O not Ow, Pounding pounding in our brain. Ay not I, O not Ow, Don't say "Rine," say "Rain"... Eliza The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain! Henry By George, she's got it! By George, she's got it! Now, once again where does it rain? Eliza On the plain! On the plain! Henry And where's that soggy plain? Eliza In Spain! In Spain! The three The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain! The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain! Henry In Hartford, Hereford, and Hampshire...? Eliza Hurricanes hardly happen. How kind of you to let me come! Henry Now once again, where does it rain? Eliza On the plain! On the plain! Henry And where's that blasted plain? Eliza In Spain! In Spain! The three The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain! The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain! ***** I COULD HAVE DANCED ALL NIGHT Eliza Bed! Bed! I couldn't go to bed! My head's too light to try to set it down! Sleep! Sleep! I couldn't sleep tonight. Not for all the jewels in the crown! I could have danced all night! I could have danced all night! And still have begged for more. I could have spread my wings And done a thousand things I've never done before. I'll never know What made it so exciting; Why all at once My heart took flight. I only know when he Began to dance with me I could have danced, danced, danced all night! Servant 1 It's after three now. Servant 2 Don't you agree now, She ought to be in bed. Eliza I could have danced all night! I could have danced all night! And still have begged for more. I could have spread my wings And done a thousand things I've never done before. I'll never know What made it so exciting. Why all at once my heart took flight. I only know when he Began to dance with me. I could have danced, danced danced all night! Mrs. Pearce I understand, dear. It's all been grand, dear. But now it's time to sleep. Eliza I could have danced all night, I could have danced all night. And still have begged for more. I could have spread my wings, And done a thousand things I've never done before. I'll never know What made it so exciting. Why all at once my heart took flight. I only know when he Began to dance with me I could have danced, danced, danced All night! ***** ASCOT GAVOTTE Ladies and Gentlemen Ev'ry duke and earl and peer is here Ev'ryone who should be here is here. What a smashing, positively dashing Spectacle: the Ascot op'ning day. At the gate are all the horses Waiting for the cue to fly away. What a gripping, absolutely ripping Moment at the Ascot op'ning day. Pulses rushing! Faces flushing! Heartbeats speed up! I have never been so keyed up! And second now They'll begin to run. Hark! A bell is ringing, They are springing Forward Look! It has begun...! What a frenzied moment that was! Didn't they maintain an exhausting pace? 'Twas a thrilling, absolutely chilling Running of the Ascot op'ning race. ***** ON THE STREET WHERE YOU LIVE Freddy When she mentioned how her aunt bit off the spoon, She completely done me in. And my heart went on a journey to the moon, When she told about her father and the gin. And I never saw a more enchanting farce Than that moment when she shouted "move your bloomin' ".... I have often walked down this street before; But the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before. All at once am I Several stories high. Knowing I'm on the street where you live. Are there lilac trees in the heart of town? Can you hear a lark in any other part of town? Does enchantment pour Out of ev'ry door? No, it's just on the street where you live! And oh! The towering feeling Just to know somehow you are near. The overpowering feeling That any second you may suddenly appear! People stop and stare. They don't bother me. For there's no where else on earth that I would rather be. Let the time go by, I won't care if I Can be here on the street where you live. ***** YOU DID IT Pickering Tonight, old man, you did it! You did it! You did it! You said that you would do it, And indeed you did. I thought that you would rue it; I doubted you'd do it. But now I must admit it That succeed you did. You should get a medal Or be even made a knight. Henry It was nothing. Really nothing. Pickering All alone you hurdled Ev'ry obstacle in sight. Henry Now, wait! Now, wait! Give credit where it's due, A lot of the glory goes to you. Pickering But you're the one who did it, Who did it, who did it! As sturdy as Gibraltar, Not a second did you falter. There's no doubt about it, You did it! I must have aged a year tonight. At times I thought I'd die of fright. Never was there a momentary lull Henry Shortly after we came in I saw at once we'd easily win; And after that I found it deadly dull. Pickering You should have heard the ooh's and ah's; Ev'ry one wondering who she was. Henry You'd think they'd never seen a lady before. Pickering And when the Prince of Transylvania Asked to meet her, And gave his arm to lead her to the floor...! I said to him: You did it! You did it! You did it! They thought she was ecstatic And so damned aristocratic, And they never knew That you Did it! Henry Thank Heavens for Zoltan Karparthy. If it weren't for him I would have died of boredom. He was there, all right. And up to his old tricks. Mrs. Pearce Karparthy? That dreadful Hungarian? Was he there? Henry Yes. That blackguard who uses the science of speech More to blackmail and swindle than teach; He made it the devilish business of his "To find out who this Miss Doolittle is." Ev'ry time we looked around There he was, that hairy hound From Budapest. Never leaving us alone, Never have I ever known A ruder pest Fin'lly I decided it was foolish Not to let him have his chance with her. So I stepped aside and let him dance with her. Oozing charm from ev'ry pore He oiled his way around the floor. Ev'ry trick that he could play, He used to strip her mask away. And when at last the dance was done, He glowed as if he knew he'd won! And with a voice to eager, And a smile too broad, He announced to the hostess That she was a fraud! Mrs. Pearce No! Henry Ja wohl! Her English is too good, he said, Which clearly indicates that she is foreign. Whereas others are instructed in their native language English people aren't. And although she may have studied with an expert Di'lectician and grammarian, I can tell that she was born Hungarian! Not only Hungarian, but of royal blood, she is a princess! Servants Congratulations, Professor Higgins, For your glorious victory! Congratulations, Professor Higgins! You'll be mentioned in history! Rest of Servants (Simultaneously) Congratulations, Professor Higgins! For your glorious Victory! Congratulations, Professor Higgins! Sing hail and hallelujah! Ev'ry bit of credit For it all belongs to you! Footman (Simultaneously with Rest of Servants) This evening, sir, you did it! You did it! You did it! You said that you would do it And indeed you did. This evening, sir, you did it! You did it! You did it! We know that we have said it, But-you did it and the credit For it all belongs to you! ***** SHOW ME Freddy Speak and the world is full of singing, And I'm winging Higher than the birds. Touch and my heart begins to crumble, The heaven's tumble, Darling, and I'm... Eliza Words! Words! Words! I'm so sick of words! I get words all day through; First from him, now from you! Is that all you blighters can do? Don't talk of stars Burning above; If you're in love, Show me! Tell me no dreams Filled with desire. If you're on fire, Show me! Here we are together in the middle of the night! Don't talk of spring! Just hold me tight! Anyone who's ever been in love'll tell you that This is no time for a chat! Haven't your lips Longed for my touch? Don't say how much, Show me! Show me! Don't talk of love lasting through time. Make me no undying vow. Show me now! Sing me no song! Read me no rhyme! Don't waste my time, Show me! Don't talk of June, Don't talk of fall! Don't talk at all! Show me! Never do I ever want to hear another word. There isn't one I haven't heard. Here we are together in what ought to be a dream; Day one more word and I'll scream! Haven't your arms Hungered for mine? Please don't "expl'ine," Show me! Show me! Don't wait until wrinkles and lines Pop out all over my brow, Show me now! ***** GET ME TO THE CHURCH ON TIME Jamie, Harry, Friends There's just a few more hours. That's all the time you've got. A few more hours Before they tie the knot. Doolittle There are drinks and girls all over London, and I've gotta track 'em down in just a few more hours! I'm getting married in the morning! Ding dong! The bells are gonna chime. Pull out the stopper! Let's have a whopper! But get me to the church on time! I gotta be there in the mornin' Spruced up and lookin' in me prime. Girls, come and kiss me; Show how you'll miss me. But get me to the church on time! If I am dancin' Roll up the floor. If I am whistlin' Whewt me out the door! For I'm gettin' married in the mornin' Ding dong! the bells are gonna chime. Kick up an rumpus But don't lost the compass; And get me to the church, Get me to the church, For Gawd's sake, get me to the church on time! Doolittle and Everyone I'm getting married in the morning Ding dong! the bells are gonna chime. Doolittle Drug me or jail me, Stamp me and mail me. All But get me to the church on time! I gotta be there in the morning Spruced up and lookin' in me prime. Doolittle Some bloke who's able Lift up the table, All And get em to the church on time! Doolittle If I am flying Then shoot me down. If I am wooin', Get her out of town! All For I'm getting married in the morning! Ding dong! the bells are gonna chime. Doolittle Feather and tar me; Call out the Army; But get me to the church. All Get me to the church... Doolittle For Gawd's sake, get me to the church on time! Harry and Everyone Starlight is reelin' home to bed now. Mornin' is smearin' up the sky. London is wakin'. Daylight is breakin'. Good luck, old chum, Good health, goodbye. Doolittle I'm gettin' married in the mornin' Ding dong! the bells are gonna chime... Hail and salute me Then haul off and boot me... And get me to the church, Get me to the church... For Gawd's sake, get me to the church on time! ***** A HYMN TO HIM Henry Why can't a woman be more like a man? Men are so honest, so thoroughly square; Eternally noble, historically fair; Who when you win will always give your back a pat. Why can't a woman be like that? Why does ev'ryone do what the others do? Can't a woman learn to use her head? Why do they do everything their mothers do? Why don't they grow up like their father instead? Why can't a woman take after a man? Men are so pleasant, so easy to please; Whenever you're with them, you're always at ease. Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours? Pickering Of course not. Henry Would you be livid if I had a drink or two? Pickering Nonsense. Henry Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers? Pickering Never. Henry Why can't a woman be like you? One man in a million may shout a bit. Now and then there's one with slight defects. One perhaps whose truthfulness you doubt a bit. But by and large we are a marvelous sex! Why can't a woman behave like a man? Men are so friendly, good-natured and kind; A better companion you never will find. If I were hours late for dinner would you bellow? Pickering Of course not. Henry If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss? Pickering Nonsense. Henry Would you complain if I took out another fellow? Pickering Never. Henry Why can't a woman be like us? Why can't a woman be more like a man? Men are so decent, such regular chaps. Ready to help you through any mishaps. Ready to buck you up whenever you up whenever you are glum. Why can't a woman be a chum? Why is thinking something women never do? Why is logic never even tried? Straightening up their hair is all they ever do. Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside? Why can't a woman be more like a man? If I were a woman who'd been to a ball, Been hailed as a princess to one and to all; Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing? Carry on as if my home were in a tree? Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going? Why can't a woman be like me? ***** WITHOUT YOU Eliza What a fool I was! What a dominated fool! To think you were the earth and sky. What a fool I was! What an addle-pated fool! What a mutton-headed dolt was I! No, my reverberating friend, You are not the beginning and the end! There'll be spring every year without you. England still will be here without you. There'll be fruit on the tree, And a shore by the sea; There'll be crumpets and tea Without you. Art and music will thrive without you. Somehow Keats will survive without you. And there still will be rain On that plain down in Spain, Even that will remain without you. I can do without you. You, dear friend, who talk so well, You can go to Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire! They can still rule the land without you. Windsor Castle will stand without you. And without much ado We can all muddle through without you! Without your pulling it, the tide comes in, Without your twirling it, the earth can spin. Without your pushing them, the clouds roll by. If they can do without you, ducky, so can I! I shall not feel alone without you. I can stand on my own without you. So go back in your shell, I can do bloody well Without you! ***** I'VE GROWN ACCUSTOMED TO HER FACE Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! I've grown accustomed to her face. She almost makes the day begin. I've grown accustomed to the tune That she whistles night and noon. Her smiles, her frowns, Her ups, her downs Are second nature to me now, Like breathing out and breathing in. I was serenly independent And content before we met. Surely I could always be that way again - and yet, I've grown accustomed to her look, Accustomed to her voice, Accustomed to her face. (Spoken) Marry Freddy. What an infantile idea. What a heartless, wicked, brainless thing to do. But she'll regret it. It's doomed before they even take the vow. I can see her now, Mrs. Freddy Eynsford-Hill, In a wretched little flat above a store. I can see her now, not a penny in the till, And a bill collector beating at the door. She'll try to teach the things I taught her, And end up selling flowers instead. Begging for her bread and water, While her husband has his breakfast in bed. In a year or so, when she's prematurely grey, And the blossom in her cheek has turned to chalk, She'll come home and lo, He'll have upped and run away, With a social-climbing heiress from New York. Poor Eliza. How simply frightful! How humiliating! How delightful! How poignant it'll be on that inevitable night When she hammers on my door in tears and rags. Miserable and lonely, repentant and contrite, Will I take her in or hurl her to the walls? Give her kindness or the treatment she deserves? Will I take her back or throw the baggage out? But, I'm a most forgiving man, The sort who never could, never would, Take a position and staunchly never budge. A most forgiving man. But I shall never take take her back If she were even crawling on her knees. Let her promise to atone, Let her shiver, let her moan, I'll slam the door and let the hell-cat freeze! Marry Freddy, HA! But I'm so used to hear her day, "Good morning" ev'ry day. Her joys, her woes, Her highs, her lows, Are second nature to me now, Like breathing out and breathing in. I'm very grateful she's a woman, And so easy to forget, rather like a habit One can always break - and yet, I've grown accustomed to the trace, Of something in the air, Accustomed to her face. (Contributed by Charles Schlereth - February 2006) ***** I'VE GROWN ACCUSTOMED TO HER FACE AS SUNG BY: Tony Bennett I've grown accustomed to her face She almost makes the day begin I've grown accustomed to the tune she whistles night and noon Her smiles, her frowns, her ups, her downs Are second nature to me now Like breathing out and breathing in I was serenely independent and content before we met Surely I could always be that way again and yet I've grown accustomed to her looks, accustomed to her voice, Accustomed to her face (Short Musical Break) I'm very grateful she's a woman and so easy to forget Rather like a habit one can always break and yet I've grown accustomed to the trace of something in the air, Accustomed to her face (Contributed/Transcribed by Bill Huntley - March 2005) *****

    





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