GREAT DRINKING BOUT
(Merle Kilgore)


Merle Kilgore - 1972





Years ago in Chandlerville lived a man named Chugalug
And the folks around the County said he was bitten by the drinkin' bug
You could find him guzzlin' night and day in J.D. Murphy's Bar
And the folks in the County agreed he was a drinkin' star

"I can drink more beer than anybody," said he, "That's my claim to fame"
So, to prove the fact, they put a plaque in Murphy's windowpane
It read, 'The man that can outdrink me ain't never been found
And there's a-ten thousand dollars awaitin' for the dude who drinks me down'

While drivin' through fair Chandlerville, a man named Shorty McBain
Saw the sign in Murphy's window of the great drinking claim
He walked into those swingin' doors and up to the drinkin' star
And you ain't never heard the like of laughter in J.D. Murphy's Bar

"Why, you're just a little fellah," said Chugalug, "There ain't no way you can
Outdrink me, four hundred pounds of guzzlin', chuglin' man"
"Just the same," said Shorty, "I'm here to call your bluff"
"Alright, little man," said Chugalug, "Murphy, set 'em up"

Well, they started drinkin' right off, and the crowd began to grow
Shorty matchin' Chugalug beer for beer, and puttin' on quite a show
The hours turned into days, and the days turned into weeks
Till all of Chandlerville was there, and half of Slipp'ry Creek

The contest was in its nineteenth day and Shorty was goin' strong
Then a haze came over Chugalug's eyes, you could tell that somethin' was wrong
He dropped the beer from his hand and said, "Boys, I can't drink no more"
And four hundred pounds of Chugalug hit Murphy's barroom floor

A hush fell over the crowd, you couldn't even hear a sigh
The doctor nodded sadly and closed Chugalug's eyes
"Well, he's dead," said Murphy, "There's nothin' more we can do
How can you drink so much beer, a little fellah like you?"

And Shorty replied, "In World War Two in Germany, I hid in a cellar full of beer
A bomb went off and the barrels broke and I was in the brew up to my ears
I couldn't swim so very well, the enemy was all around
So I drank the damn cellar dry, it was either that or drown"

As long as there's a Chandlerville there can be no doubts
They'll tell again and again the story of the Great Drinkin' Bout
Well, they covered Chugalug with a barroom rug, and it came as quite a blow
As the crowd could not believe their ears when Shorty ordered a six-pack to go






(Transcribed by Mel Priddle - April 2013)