BELIEVE IT OR NOT
(Harry Gifford / Fred Cliffe)

as recorded by George Formby
March 21st 1934


In an old country mansion, last Christmas I stayed,
A queer looking place no doubt.
With one lovely girl I had heaps of fun;
I said to myself, "Something's got to be done!"
I whispered, "My dear, don't give way to fright,
But in the room you sleep a ghost appears every night!
Believe it or not,
Believe it or not,
But say, I'm telling you!"
"No silly ghost", said she,
"Could ever frighten me!
It's all tommyrot,
I'm sure I could not
Believe it anyhow!" 
That night at twelve o'clock, just as the light she turned out,
"Who's that in my room?", she cried, and started to shout.
I whispered, "Shut up, I'm the ghost I told you about,
Perhaps you'll believe it now!"

'Round a loony asylum one day I looked round,
One patient was fairly pots.
She clung round my neck and whispered to me,
"The worlds's greatest sweetheart I happen to be!
I'm queen of passion; ye gods up above,
I'll prove the meaning of reincarnation of love!
Believe it or not,
Believe it or not,
I know they say I'm daft!"
She then called me her sheik
And bit me on the cheek.
I said, "That'll do!
I don't believe you
Are really mad somehow!"
She locked me in her padded call and messed me about,
She hugged and kissed and squeezed me, I enjoyed it no doubt!
She then kissed me and said, "Oh boy!", as I staggered out,
"Perhaps you'll believe it now!"



(Transcribed by Peter Akers - March 2017)